Having Faith When All Seems Lost

Every once in a while the wheel of life turns in an unanticipated direction. What seemed like a good thing goes sour; what began as a disaster turns out great.

A few months ago I lost all of my email, an event I was sure was a catastrophe. In fact, though, it turned out so well that I’m actually glad it occurred. It was also a good reminder of one of the principles of letting go that I’ve been teaching my clients for years.

The Loss
It all started when I made a few small technical adjustments to my web site and email accounts.

Things could – and did – go wrong: a few weeks later I lost six years worth of email: all the mail I’d sent, received, and put in the trash. My email address book was gone, too. Needless to say, I felt completely at sea.

It was worth it to invest in professional help; in fact I’ll put in a plug here for IvanExpert, a wonderful small company in Manhattan that specializes in helping Mac computer users. Over the course of several hours, Ivan delved into my computer, found the missing files, and re-installed what he could (thanks, Ivan!).

At the end of the day it was crushing to discover that only 25% of my email (and associated email addresses) could be retrieved. The remaining 75% was corrupted and would need more work. I decided to take my chances with the 25% and come back later to re-install the missing material if I found I couldn’t live without it.

The Win
Back in my office, I expected uphill work, searching for missing addresses and emails. But as I revved up my correspondence again it turned out that only one necessary address was missing. And in that person’s case, he wrote me shortly thereafter, saving me the trouble of tracking him down!

Ultimately I discovered that most of the email I send is to a well-defined group of clients and colleagues, while much of what I receive is in the form of newsletters and solicitations to which I can respond if I need to.

Pretty much everyone I needed to get in touch with, and all the email information I needed, was in that key 25%.

This seemingly devastating event wasn’t a tragedy or burden at all. In fact it was a win: my email inbox became sleek, streamlined and easy-to-use, all in one fell swoop!

Even better, I was reminded to practice what I preach: to let go of the things I don’t use, love or need. Did I really need all those old newsletters from Vendor A? Or the long string of correspondence from Colleague X, when her most recent note contains the entire conversation?

Keeping the Faith
The loss of my email motivates me to keep “inbox clutter” to a minimum, and have faith that what I need will show up when I need it. And needless to say, clearing unnecessary stuff out of my life is just another way of bringing good Feng Shui into it.

While I don’t recommend throwing all your email into the trash (!), I definitely suggest clearing out your email account to the greatest extent you dare. One easy way to tackle this is to sort it by sender or topic; this will show you where the repetition is and help you make the wisest decisions about what to delete.

But the larger lesson is to have faith that what you need will appear when you need it.

It happens every time.

Q. of the Week: My Neighbor’s Garden

Last week I received a question from a reader named Irene, which seemed perfect as the kickoff for a new blog feature, “Feng Shui Question of the Week.”

Here’s Irene’s question:
“My neighbor said my clematis brings bad luck as it intertwines around the trellis between our yards. She has cut the clematis on her side and as a result I have fewer flowers this year. What do you think?”

And here’s my answer:
“Feng Shui is about taking care of ourselves in our spaces, so we use it to focus solely on the environments we control exclusively. As soon as we share control of a space, we need to make sure that the people with whom we share it also share our point of view about its Feng Shui.

“Having a tense relationship with your neighbor will not enhance the Feng Shui of your home, so you may want to keep the peace by moving the plant.

“Clematis responds well to being cut back. For next year you may want to trim yours and move it to a spot that’s not shared with your neighbor. That way you’ll be able to let this beautiful and abundant plant run as free as it likes, creating just the Feng Shui atmosphere you’re after.”

Please add a comment and let me know your thoughts on this!
And if you have a question please send it along. Who knows, it may end up as next week’s Feng Shui Question of the Week.

From Junk Drawer to Fabulous Drawer!

Do you have a “junk drawer”?

We take it for granted, the junk drawer, but it seems to me that this phrase is more complex than it seems.

Thinking of something you own as “junk” is a way of telling yourself you aren’t worthy of being surrounded with things you love, or of living in a home that supports you in every way.

So let’s take a look into one such drawer, my own.

The irony of junk drawers is that they frequently contain some of the most useful stuff we own.

Plus, they’re usually located in central locations, giving us easy access to the things inside. Mine is in the kitchen, and it contains a pretty wide assortment of stuff.

I’ve changed its name, though. I call it

“The Fabulous Drawer.”
Every time I open this drawer, it’s great to see the essentials inside: small change, a tape measure, a box cutter, extra sets of house keys, IDs, a small flashlight, glasses-cleaning cloths, important medicines, and an assortment of other things we want handy.

My husband and I organize this stuff in small bowls and baskets we’ve picked up in our travels, so things we love are present, even in a place that’s mostly hidden from view.

We call it Fabulous because so many of our small, essential things “live” there. And whenever something small goes missing, we know we’re likely to find it in our Fabulous Drawer.

Drawers As Unique As You Are
With just a bit of effort you can transform your junk drawers from clutter magnets into storage that makes your life easier.

The essential miscellany of your life is about to become Fabulous.

Fish everything out of the drawer, put it on a nice big surface, and savor the “discovery moments” that follow:

“Oh, I’ve been looking for this everywhere!”
There’s nothing like the relief of unearthing something important and giving it a home, whether that’s missing keys, driver’s licenses, or a checkbook that had gone astray.

“Gee, I didn’t know I still had this.”
It’s great to rediscover meaningful things you love. Now’s the time to locate them in a place where they receive the honor and respect they deserve.

“Wow, this is trash!”
Here’s your opportunity to purge the true “junk”, exactly as defined in the dictionary: “articles that are worn out or fit to be discarded.”

It’s time to stop calling this a “junk” drawer.

A Fabulous Drawer of Your Own
You’re almost done. Dust out the drawer, track down a few containers that fit easily inside; gather your small essentials into their new containers, and close the drawer.

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a Fabulous Drawer that will enhance your life — and change your inner monologue — forever.

This is Brooklyn??

We went on another house tour yesterday here in Brooklyn, and I think you’ll be surprised at what we saw. Ditmas Park is right in the middle of the borough and famous for Victorian-era homes like this one:

And this one:

This house had a great little “Feng Shui” front yard, too:

I have to admit that I’m very comfy in my neighborhood of Park Slope, so it’s great to be reminded that there’s a big world out there just a mile or two beyond my doorstep. The people we met in some of these houses have been living in them for 30+ years, raised families there, and now their grandchildren are starting to take over!

It’s life, in other words — but not the “city life” we often assume!

More Bad Feng Shui in Arch Digest

Don’t go near the fireplace!!

Here’s another amazing piece of scary interior decor in Architectural Digest. This one’s in the current issue (July 2009), page 45.

The giant scissors that hang so threateningly above the fireplace got my immediate attention — talk about “killing chi”!! This is a graphic demonstration of exactly the kind of symbolism Feng Shui does not like in a space, sharp edges that feel, intuitively, as though they are going to cut you.

You’ll also notice an antique “Stop” sign on the coffee table. On the one hand, it might be a good thing in preventing someone from getting any closer to those scissors, on the other it seems to bring any good chi energy that might be circulating to a screeching halt.

And finally — take a close look at the andirons in the fireplace: they’re little statues of people! Burning up!

The message that’s being sent in this “living room” is that you will be stopped, cut off or otherwise brought to harm with every step you take. Can the people who live here really be happy?